“You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy: then you should sit for an hour.”
When I first started meditating, I actually felt guilty for giving myself “me” time.
Which sounds crazy, but how often do we REALLY devote to ourselves and our well-being? Many of us are so busy with our lives or the illusion of “busy” that we seldom really take time to ourselves. And when I say, “take time to ourselves”, I don’t mean scroll social media and distract ourselves: I mean, genuine time alone choosing to put yourself first.
Earlier today I was talking to my mom while simultaneously mopping the floor, grabbing snacks for my son, and refilling his sippy cup – yes literally, all these things, basically at once – and we started a conversation about putting ourselves first, occasionally.
// Disclaimer: I talk to my mother on the phone literally almost every day, so I can multi-task and catch up with mom literally like it’s nothing and I do recommend that if you are lucky enough to have your mother here still with you: call her on the phone. \\
Anyway, I asked her what she was doing and she said she was on her way to go get a massage and her hair done and I said “I was just talking (to Jacob) about how I wanted to go get a massage, but I just bought the kids school clothes and shoes … and I just cannot seem to justify spending money on myself anymore.”
She said that for years she was like that, incessantly putting everyone before herself (like, literally every good mother on the planet – amiright??) and then she finally began putting herself first with little trips to pamper herself, etc.
And then I jokingly said, “meditation is my me time.”
But really, it is…
And I’m going to tell you why I recommend meditation or at the very least taking time out of your day sans distractions and doing something solely for yourself.
#1. Meditation helped me to prioritize my life.
- Before meditation I was a social media junkie, I spent a lot of time on Facebook & the strange thing is that now: I find it really the opposite platform for personal growth UNLESS I am there for business, which is almost the only reason I am still there. It helped me to comprehend where my attention needs to be the most, where I do not need to spend my time, and more importantly it has helped me to truly understand where some of my insecurities developed and how better I can use those to grow as a person.
#2. I’m more passive, more positive, + less rifled by things that I know do not matter.
- When I first started meditating, I only did it when I was feeling stressed out. I would say to my family “Hey, I need 30 minutes… I’m a little stressed, I’m going to go calm down and I’ll be back.” I would go in my room, turn on a guided meditation (which is what I used religiously in the beginning) + “namaste”. Now, it’s a routine basically – every single day I dedicate time solely to be by myself with no distractions: no phone, no music, no children, no fiancé, no business, no internet, no nothing… just me and my mind. And already there has been an astronomical shift on what bothers me and what doesn’t – solely by just spending time with myself and focusing on what truly matters in life.
Now, for some people, meditation may be a foreign concept.
So, another tip I have, if meditation is not something you think you can get down with, is to start a gratitude journal. Now, because I have dedicated my time to daily writing, I have stopped writing in mine, but I still always start my meditations by clearing my mind with positive thoughts. But, a gratitude journal is really beneficial in figuring out where we waste our time the most in a way that may be either detrimental or induce negative thoughts and the reason it helps with this is because when you are writing about all that you have to be grateful for – it seldom includes platforms or environments that cause you stress, worry, anxiety, etc.
For me personally, the largest contributor to my negative thoughts was Facebook. And even still, if someone messages me privately and I have a fleeting thought and say something that comes from a place of negative, it causes me to over-analyze why I said that and it also helps me to realize that I’m not where I want to be with not entertaining gossip, having a moment, or engaging in conversations that may cause me anxiety, etc and inadvertently pushes me farther away from spending time there.
I’m not saying that this is the enemy by any means, it is a wonderful marketing tool and I attribute the success of my business to Facebook – so there are qualities I admire and appreciate, however there is also a detriment to the platform that I personally felt when I chose a path to finding my own inner peace and quieting my mind from being incessantly distracted.
It’s crazy but I remember the first week of meditation and the most profound moment was the moment it had dawned on me that any time that I had what I considered “me time”, I was on social media. That I had not sat in my own thoughts without distractions for longer than I could even remember… I had ALWAYS distracted my mind with this platform.
Now, I relish the moment that I can spend time with no distractions by myself.
Anyway, short story long – try meditating some time. The world could use an awakening and less distractions! <3
May you find some inner peace!
Much love guys!
(P.S. I wrote this on Thursday because we're attending the fair tomorrow and tomorrow I will not be on!)