Before you end up over-cooked, let it simmer.

March 23, 2018  •  Leave a Comment

Have you ever noticed how we (as a human race) tend to be combative with positivity?

“No one can be that positive.”

“It’s an act, no one is that positive.”

“Blah blah blah, mushy positive nonsense.”

Why have we become so reluctant to positivity that we’ve placed inside our warped little minds that being positive is a cloak to a hidden agenda?

That, to me, is the actual nonsense. 

For the last fifty days I have practiced Yoga every single day. Every day I have dedicated at least thirty minutes to myself. Almost every day I listen to calming music and try to meditate before bed. Every day I remind myself to practice gratitude and to avoid unnecessary conflict.  Every day I have taken the time to practice embracing myself, to accepting myself, to trusting myself, to loving myself and to the belief that there’s more to life than incessant conflict.

It doesn’t have to be conflict with other people, it can be as simple (or as complex) as conflict within our own mind. Consistent over-thinking. Consistent over-analyzing. “Over-thinking, over-analyzing separates the body from the mind.” (Yes, I did just quote TOOL, haha.)

It’s that incessant chatter inside our minds.

It’s telling ourselves we aren’t good enough or we could do better, worrying if someone likes us or if they don’t, without just letting it be. Without trusting the process, without realizing that every single time we’ve encountered similar setbacks, similar concerns, similar conflict that the same exact outcome happened every single time: we either made it out alive with a lesson or we totally over-worried for no reason whatsoever.

This is where I encourage you to let it simmer.

If you find yourself in this routine of constantly battling your mind, putting yourself down, worrying what everyone thinks of you, dealing with any kind of struggle at all… just take a moment and rationalize your thoughts. Let them simmer a moment. Grab from the endless experience pile stashed inside your brain and find a similar experience, then think about the outcome, then think about how in hindsight to today… was it really that big of a deal?

If it wasn’t (and it wasn’t, because you’re still here and you made it out unscathed), then let go and focus on the outcome rather than the conflict. Focus on the absolute certainty that whatever is conflicting you in your life will not last forever and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

I promise you, it works.

In January of this year, my family was really struggling. There was so much conflict within our home that there was this incessant tension, literally every day. It was during this time that I just thought to myself “it does not have to be like this.” I was upset on what seemed like a daily basis, I felt trapped and although I’d been there before… I was too wrapped up in the feeling of that moment that I didn’t remind myself that “this too shall pass”, even though I knew it would.

Then one day, in the midst of some serious personal struggle, I just told myself I’d had enough of … well, myself. I’d had enough of consistently thinking things will never look up, I’d had enough of putting myself down and allowing one issue to take root and grow in to more issues. I was fed up with consistently feeling down.

It was also at this time that I was diagnosed with guttate psoriasis, which still covers about 40% of my body and is most visible to others on my hands. I’ve had someone ask me if I was burnt, I’ve seen people stare at, I’ve had children flat out ask me or tell me I have “red bumps” all over me.

I literally felt like everything I had been feeling on the inside was now manifesting itself outwardly and I finally decided I needed some inner healing. This is when I turned to Yoga, this is when I turned to meditation, this is when I turned to repeating to myself that I am okay and reminding myself of everything I already had to be grateful for.

At first, it was difficult. Some days I thought it was silly, other days I thought it was futile and ironically those were the times in which I had the most set-backs. (Thoughts become things, you know.) But man, when my daily mantra became “Trust the process and DO NOT give up.” … Total game changer.

For the first time in my career as a photographer I brought in more income before wedding season than I have ever in my career. I booked more weddings before wedding season than I have ever in my career. I stuck to a “fitness” routine for more consecutive days than I have ever. I significantly reduced the appearance of my psoriasis through relentless self-control and daily attendance to my skin. The battles in my home are fought solely on a need-to basis and everything else is forgotten. It’s not dwelled on, it’s not stored to fester, it’s just plain not allowed to take root. Period.

For the first time in my life, I have been able to truly declutter and focus on what really matters. I completely dismiss any invitation for gossip or negative conversations. I seldom spend time on Facebook, more than to just post, because through this process I’ve been able to really comprehend that Facebook especially has the potential to create negative emotions we never would have planted without seeing it in our news feed. Having a presence on social media is a part of my business and so I have to post here. And well, encouraging less complaining and more positivity makes Facebook seem like the best place to start, if I’m being honest.

All I’m saying is, is that if you’ve noticed that you’re constantly surrounded in conflict or what you see as “bad karma” or it seems like the world is just against you, maybe contemplate if it is less about your surroundings and more about your view of the world around you. I don’t think most things are as bad as we possess the ability to make them out to be. Try a different approach.

Spend less time having expectations of the world or people around you. This places you in a position where everything you want is just out of reach and leaves you constantly focused on wanting more or not having enough. Wishing is futile, BELIEVING is key. Believe that everything will be okay. Believe that you are worth it. Believe that your life doesn’t HAVE to be a place of conflict… and… soon enough your perception of the world around you will change too.

I promise.

Namaste my friends.

Crystal B.

 


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